formulas, techniques, and howtos don’t work, but they help
questions don’t answer, but they help
experience don’t satisfy, but they help
necessary but not sufficient
of course I’m not talking about “how to properly defrost chicken in a microwave” or “how to boil perfect devilled eggs”.
things that are predictable and mechanical to a large degree
99% of the stuff you do are insignificant. they won’t solve something in a big way, especially if it’s a complex problem, as is most things in life. most things won’t be the “this is it”, the be-all-end-all
but it’s necessary that you do them, consistently.
it’s not that final blow that splits that rock. it’s all the hundred blows before.
relax. take it easy. you’ll be happy for a while and you’ll go chasing the next thing. you’ll feel down for a while, and you’ll feel better again.
do it with more ease. lower your expectations. have fun. why make life hard? what’s the worst thing that could happen?
relax, have fun because you need to do this until the day you die.
to get started: only do what’s sufficient and necessary
to feel less overwhelmed: only do what’s sufficient and necessary
to reduce friction: only do what’s sufficient and necessary
what is sufficient and necessary ? that’s all on you
go out and try things out till the day that you die. no one has it all figured out once and for all.
and no one can figure that out for you.
that’s freedom right there.
there is no secret. and you can’t rush it. it’s just constantly looking for the answer to these three questions
- who am I
- what do I want
- does this work for me
till the day you die
people will sell you products, secrets, shortcuts. you will seek out teachers and guidance. and they are fun. they are definitely helpful. but it can’t get you “there”. you need to do the work
I said life is complex but it doesn’t mean difficult. most of the actual steps are simple.
the generic “steps”
– eat less
– move more
– sleep better
– drink water
– spend more time with your loved ones
– take time off work
– take a shower
– schedule things in your calendar
what’s difficult is figuring out what those steps are. different people need different steps. the same step can twist someone’s ankle and propel another one
to zoom in on these into more detailed steps. the exact amount of sleep, the type of food that makes your body operate best, the calendar app, and so on
what’s even more difficult is getting out of your own way to 1) take the steps and 2) do it consistently and 3) do it until you get somewhere
and honestly there is no way you can do ANYthing consistently and persistently if it’s not something YOU truly want or enjoy.
that means you need to either make yourself want it, or enjoy it.
of course life is better when you just happen to land on these situations in most areas of your life instead of having to artificially trying to create these situations.
life is easier for some and harder for some. some parts of your life will be easier and some parts will be harder.
in an ideal world you’ll get to have everything your way, have all the external stuff comply with your internal world. but we can’t escape pressure of social constructs, imperfect systems, and the messy human relationship.
there is no art in living a life that’s sterile from all the nuance of the external world. heaven is dead boring.
you automatically view these bits of the world as problems to be fixed, something to reject, rage, and rebel against, instead of seeing very clearly that everything is happening for you. it’s a playground for you to level up.
it’s just a more enjoyable way to live
do the necessary with more ease. give yourself the permission to try things out and decide what is sufficient. know that you will get there but you will never arrive.
and how I can feel these ideas vibrating deeper inside.
but to everyone else, these are still just words. these are still just another set of cliche.
that shift is invisible.
I could be reading the exact same thing last year but not get it. I could be writing the exact same thing last year, but not get it. I could be telling myself these things last night and not get it.
and I can go back to “getting it” less tomorrow, or next year.
relax. iterate, not destinate.
and this is it right here, one of the things that makes me tick.
- Getting things into my head
- Getting things out of my head
- Getting them across into someone else’s head
I would play with the word “head” and beginning to explore that subtle shift between “getting” into “letting” but I’ll leave it here.
Also published on Medium.