What I’m up to (an attempt to break the mental blocker)

Constipated (mentally). Blocked, guilt gnawing, as if I owe the world a blog post about my new life, some life update, whatever. and here I am running in circle, festering about what to post, where to start, what to post, where to post it to, in what form, to which platform. like WTF.

so here I am, going to just publish this, writing this from boox, got no versison-controlled seed .md. I’ll just post this random post. so “the first one” is done. so the next ones will be less of a big of a deal. (AS IF IT’s A BIG DEAL AT ALL LOLLL). no one fucking reads this. if I possted on FB, or on Twitter, or on IG. they don’t need to be coherent, I don’t need to go in sequence. I can just say whatever I want in whatever order I want. it’s just a blog for fuck’s sake.

it’s not a peer-reviewed paper, not a groundbreaking essay.

where do I start? start anywhere.

I’m 21 days in this unemployment. I haven’t updated my linkedin. I did the transition in a trip, and I’ve been back 11 days from the trip, but been down and recovering from covid since. I’ve slept a lot more since I was back. I made the average from 6.5h of sleeping hours to 7.7 now in 11 days. I can’t imagine going through this being employed. I think I’ll just half-ass the recovery. resting but “in standby”. what’s the word. be on guard. never fully unclenched.