I’m retired (for now) – Part 1: Mindset shifts

Hello friend, I’m reporting back 7 weeks into this mini retirement and I just want to say that I finally begun to feel more rested. I resigned mid May, interestingly one year since I published the “I can retire but I don’t” post. I survived the excruciating 2.5 months of extended notice period till the…

Being and Doing Queer

being queer has been natural and effortless for me as my sex, gender identity, and gender expression are conveniently aligned. this also means it’s easy for me to not “do” much queer. I’ve gotten away with doing the bare minimum. sometimes bare minimum is good enough but I know I can afford to make more…

I miss writing and publishing

haha seems like I’m starting blogging again… just published http://proses.id/unhurried-conversations/ taking it slow writing really does recharge me. I’ve forgotten how healing it is. I mean proper writing. not just jotting things down (which I still do everyday, to empty my head, and just adds to backlog of unprocessed drafts). why not just tweet these…

Reverse Engineering a Good Day

Reverse Engineering a Good Day

I thought I have cracked the code to having a good day. I’ve been tracking my time and activities on spreadsheets since Dec 2018. I know the hours I sleep, the things I eat, my mental clarity, my physical fitness, what I consumed that day, what I produced aka achieved that day (non work related),…

Extending the hibernation

why do I still feel tired, no bandwidth and motivation to do stuff? but still able to “go pro”, show up, and do my day job — killing it as well. but I’m just left with no energy or interest to do the other non-work stuff like writing and side hustles. even family tim, and…

How are you doing?

(September 2019 at Ladies View, Ring of Kerry, Ireland) Summary of points in this post: Life is great right now but I feel guilty for feeling content. Questioned the idea of comfort zone. Are we really ever comfortable? Disillusioned: apparently I don’t enjoy the things I thought I’d love to do. I don’t want to…

Ask, ask, ask

Started asking myself these questions more and more lately: how many things can I get if I just ask? how many miscommunication can I avoid by asking? how many problems can I solve more easily if I just ask for help? what questions am I avoiding asking? what wants am I avoiding sharing? what needs…

Life Cheatsheet

I can sum up the past three years of my life into three core themes: The world makes a lot more sense. Gaining a more complete description of reality. I’ve come to understand myself a lot better. Noticing and disarming the unconscious mechanisms preventing me from experiencing and seeing reality as it is. Life is…

Saya bergidik ketika ada orang yang mengatakan saya menginspirasi mereka.

Kemarin mendadak saya ingin berbagi sudut pandang saya yang hidup dengan disabilitas. Pemicunya adalah saya dikirimi buku auto biografi dari Pak Budi Seputro, pemilik rumah makan Sate Ratu di Jogja. Dalam satu bagian kecil dalam bukunya, beliau menceritakan pengalamannya ngobrol dengan tamu-tamunya, salah satunya saya. Beliau mengaku terkesan dengan semangat saya dan bagaimana saya terlihat…

Oops I Did It Again: How Burnout Hit Me One More Time

March 1st 2019: Gave an internal company-wide talk titled “Stay Sane While Working Remotely”. Talked about mental health awareness, tactics, best practices, encouraged conversation, and let people know it’s ok to ask for help. March 11th 2019: Hit a low week, all drained of mental energy. Kept it to myself, postponed asking for help for…