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20220116_0815 - hello again & "unhurried conversations" == * Note created: [time=Sunday, 16 January 2022 08:15:59 +0700] * ###### tags `sTREaming` `published` * Published (partially) to http://proses.id/unhurried-conversations/ [TOC] ---- january. 2022. 15 years of professional career. 7 years with this company. oscillating between "I don't want to do this anymore" and "heck I'm so blessed to be able to squeeze myself into this job. it's a great place to be, compared to most alternative jobs I can possibly get. great pay for the amount and nature of work required. and I still AM passionate about what I am working on (when I have the energy to spare) and am able to go into flow when working". bottom line is: I do want to take time off from work in general. tired of feeling like I'm spending my most valuable and limited resource, my brainpower, on this thing that right now only rewards me with money. I think it did reward me with other form of returns in the past. I was accumulating social capital as well as experiencing personal growth up till perhaps 3 years ago. since then it's mostly me rationalising and making up stories how the work is still relevant to where I am and where I want to go (which is not something I'm clear about, even at this point). I was definitely much more engaged back then. right now I often find myself disillusioned by the tasks, milestones, roadmap, targets. they all seem arbitrary and meaningless. this usually happens after a couple of occasions where I get to step back from the day to day motion. sober. Haha, why is it that I keep on going back to this topic when I'm mind dumping? Let's not bore you with my rant of trying to work through my own career-crisis. -- so, what do we want to talk about right now? what's top of mind? well, a lot. OK let's just pick one item to share here now. here's one: unhurried conversations. back in Sept 2020 (wow it's been a while! just checked my note's timestamp) I joined a group in Meetup called [Unhurried Denver](https://www.meetup.com/Unhurried-Denver/). What is it? It's part of the [Unhurried movement](https://www.unhurried.org/) started by [Johnnie Moore](https://www.johnniemoore.com/), a guy I came across when listening to On the Edge podcast. Quoting their section on Unhurried Conversations: [https://www.unhurried.org/conversations](https://www.unhurried.org/conversations) > We use a simple process to make sure when one person speaks, everyone else listens, so the speaker is not interrupted. Sometimes there are long pauses between speakers, sometimes not. > > When people know they aren’t going to be interrupted, they worry less and express themselves more clearly. Also, when people really feel listened to, it seems to increase their focus and the sense that their speech has meaning. They can slow down, and they tend not to repeat themselves. Unhurried conversations are rich and complex, with much less of the battling for attention we often experience. I'm immediately intrigued and drawn into this concept. Having a space to talk knowing you won't get interrupted and other people are committed to show up, give you the time and space to talk, and will listen to what you're saying seems like the perfect training ground to practice dismantling the reflex of self censoring and being self conscious of not wanting to come across as ranting, rambling. I also want to unlearn this default mode of thinking that what I am sharing is not really important or interesting. Skimming their global page, I find the Denver one fits my schedule and Colorado is one of the 4 areas in the States that I do want to visit some time soon. So I jumped into the next meeting they had. Met 3-4 other people in it. mostly in their 50s and 70s. Had a genuinely lovely time, a new and interesting experience, enjoyed the perspective and vibe. But unfortunately I only participated in that one meeting and never joined another afterwards. Can't really remember why, probably a mix of irrational anxiety or pressure of sharing something, feeling depleted, being busy at work, dealing with other life stuff, and 7am on Thursdays is too early or something. Thought of hosting one for local crowd in Indonesia, but never got around to executing it either... Just checked out [their event calendar](https://www.meetup.com/Unhurried-Denver/events/gdrtrsydccbzb/) and seems like the last meetup they had was actually 3 days ago(! happy to see they're still somewhat active. averaging 3-6 attendees per event based on [their past events stats](https://www.meetup.com/Unhurried-Denver/events/past/)), but they're (Bill, the organiser is) taking break till April 2022.